


Don't Hurt Him; Don't Hurt Me

by k_yuuki



Category: Ookiku Furikabutte | Big Windup!
Genre: Break Up, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Panic Attacks, mentions of codependency
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-02
Updated: 2017-04-02
Packaged: 2018-10-13 19:37:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10520460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/k_yuuki/pseuds/k_yuuki
Summary: Abe and Mihashi broke up, Abe did not handle it well. Haruna came as his knight in shining armor.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I like Mihashi, honest! But I also want to write some h/c between Abe and Haruna. So, as a believer of Abe is a demi-sexual, this is a scenario I can think of.

When they officially were together, all of their friends said at least once to him: ‘ _don't hurt him or else…’_ or ‘ _try your best and be gentle with him, okay?’_ or just the variation of that.

 

At the time, his way of thinking was exactly like that too, that Mihashi Ren was a fragile being and he had to be careful around him. He really tried his best to make the other happy, but of course, being as practical as Abe Takaya, he made sure Ren was well and healthy first, rather than happy.

 

He should have known that a bird belongs to the sky, not being held back at its nest.

 

They were happy for as long as they could. He tried to be a doting boyfriend and a thoughtful catcher at the same time. But as the new feeling of being protected had run off, there was irritation left.

 

Like a teenager when they grew up, Ren acted the same as anyone in a controlling relationship, he rebelled. And it was totally fine, it was not as if Takaya did not realize their relationship was coming to an end anyway. Moreover, he never could not say their relationship was _normal_. He was too obsessed on Ren, and Ren worshipped him as if he was some kind of a baseball god. Takaya had a habit of being overprotective, temperamental, while Ren was skittish, insecure, and hurt after his middle school year. So if Ren mistook his feelings for him as romantic one, Takaya would accepted it and held it for as long as Ren wanted to.

 

Well, he really could not say when he realized it was only a one-sided feeling from him and Ren was just not wanting to lose him, to let Takaya go.

 

So, as a logical man, Takaya let Ren go, it was useless to make Ren miserable just because he was selfish.

 

He practiced the dialogue over and over in front of the mirror, schooled his expression so that Ren would not know he was hurting. And yet, Takaya was not prepared to see Ren looked a bit happy when he said it was over.

 

“We are still a battery,” Takaya explained, “we are still friends, _best_ friends.” He paused, remembering his script he made a few weeks after seeing Ren kissed another guy shyly, secretly on the lips. The pain tugged his heart again, he could feel tears formed on his eyes.

 

“It's just that, I don't feel like we are working as a couple anymore,” he finished, staving off the inevitable tears.

 

“Ta, Taka… ya does… not… me?”

 

“It’s not that!” he snapped, sights blurred yet he held on. “But we are not happy together, are we? We are hurting each other, so… so please, find your happiness, Ren,” he managed to spit out, soft voiced, almost lost in the wind.

 

“I am glad... t-this is over then, Takaya,” Ren replied, smiling his quirky, warm smile towards him for the last time. “But- w,we, we're still... right?”

 

“...yeah,” he answered. _I love you_ , he wanted to say, _don’t go_ , he wished to cry, _please stay with me_ , he yearned to request, _please_. Still, he kept his silence.

 

“Okay, see you... on the m-meeting later, then,” he waved him off, before running to his friends. Ren did not realise it himself, but as an expert of reading body language, Takaya recognized the relief radiated from him as he walked away and it almost destroyed him. He did not need Takaya anymore, not as Takaya needed the other.

 

“ _I love you, Ren_ ,” he muttered to himself as his tears could not be contained anymore. He curled, squatting on the corner, relieved that he chose a deserted place to break up.

 

_It is okay, I manages to get Motoki over before, I can survive this_ , no matter how much he ran through that words again and again, he could not force his logical mind to believe that.

 

When he stopped minutes, hours later, the skies was dark, he missed classes and ran to the training ground, pretending he did not just crying over a breakup that he initiated. Ren and his teamwork suffered a bit, but as long as Ren acted normal, Takaya could lie to himself everything else was too.

 

Yuuto, of course, noticed it soon after, when Takaya did not hang out around Ren too much anymore, when he was not near Ren like a jealous boyfriend anymore. He looked at him in one glance and he knew that they were over but that did not mean Takaya was over Ren.

 

“Do you want to talk, Taka?” Even though they started to use each other given names after that BBQ at Yuuichiro’s place, it was still weird to be called ‘Taka’ on the school ground.

 

Takaya glanced at his best friend and gave him a bitter sardonic smile, told him a simple three words. “I'll be fine.”

 

Yuuto skeptically stared at his eyes, but Takaya was not lying, so he let it be. Breakups were normal in high schools, so there was nothing to be worked up about. It was not his first, and it was likely would not be his last either, Takaya knew how to deal with it before, and he would deal with it again, simple.

 

The next one who noticed is their captain. Hanai (because he hated to be called Azusa) who was always a sensitive person before, and had not changed over the years, it made him a good captain. “Takaya?” he tentatively reached out after he tiring training in the dung out.

 

“Captain?”

 

“You seem… depressed lately, are you alright?” _‘Should I call Ren for you?_ ’ was silently asked.

 

“I'm fine, Hanai,” he stressed out, “I was just tired from all the training.” _Please, don't call for Ren._

 

The other boy searched for any sign of distress on his face and nodded hesitantly when he could not find any. Takaya had a lot of practice on making his poker face perfect since middle school for reasons. “Okay, get a lot of rest.”

 

“Yes, sir,” he teased back at the order, making him flushed, distracted the taller boy easily. Almost three years as a captain, Hanai still blushes whenever people complimented him or teased him. Then, he run to Yuuichirou, whispering something on his ears and resumed cleaning.

 

Well, when he thought about it, Hanai and Yuuichirou are pretty close lately. A small smirk graced his face before it fell again when seeing Ren happily shoving Yonaga-kun, his classmate. He distracted his gaze, feeling his heart being shredded through repeatedly, a small self-deprecating smile graced his face, he chanted ‘ _it's fine, I'm fine, it'll pass, I’m fine'_ , until it stuck on his head.

 

His family, as usual, could care less about his emotional problem. His dad talked about the baseball game that is on the TV, his mom was doting Shun, and Shun was _Shun_ , Taka was the one responsible for him as the older brother, not the opposite.

 

_He missed the worried glance his father gave him when he hummed at his commentary without offering his own input. The disbelieving gazes Shun sent because he did not steal his eggs at breakfast. The sad knowing look his mom directed as he stayed silent distractedly when he usually talked back rudely after she reprimanded him._

 

A few weeks later, when the pain become more and more unbearable, he could not hide it from his family anymore and his teammates were highly suspicious of him as of late from the unexplained bruises, he reconsidered the knife. Yet, he could not just run away like that, not again. The old memory of his was unbidden. ‘ _Call me whenever you have the urges_ ’, he once said. So, he flipped his phone open, thumb hovered on the call symbol, wanting to call the number that had always been there but he had no courage to reach out.

 

_He punched the button_.

 

***

 

Motoki was not enjoying his college life when he received the call, he was ready to hit the reject dial. However, the name flashed and like magic, it brightened his day. He really should have known that Takaya would never call him unless it was emergency.

 

“ _Motoki_.”

 

The voice that came over was stained, clipped. Moroki frowned, there was once, in his short live that he had led, had he ever heard Takaya's tone like that, and without any hesitation, he made up his mind, “where are you?”

 

“ _D-don't come here, idiot!_ ” Was he _crying_?

 

“I _said,_ **_where_ ** are you?” He repeated, stressing his words dangerously.

 

Finally, like always, Takaya relented.

 

“Motoki! Where are you going?” Kyouhei yelled after him, as he ditched the classroom running without a single explanation.

 

“It’s not your business!” he replied, his irritation level rose alarmingly, ready to burst out.

 

His long time best friend frowned, worried etched to his expression, and Motoki soon felt guilty. “There is something wrong with Takaya,” he revealed stiffly.

 

Kyouhei’s eyes bulged out in bewilderment before nodding as understanding bloomed on his face, he reached to his front pocket and threw his car key at him. “Go!”

 

This time, Motoki was the one stunned. He grin soon after though, “thanks!”

 

“Just go! Stay for as long as he needs,” he smiled back, “say my thanks to him!”

 

“For what?” Confusion dripped in every word, but his childhood friend was running back to class already.

 

The journey there was… dangerous, to say the least. Motoki would have _tickets_ if he got caught, but at the time, he could care less. If Takaya reached out to him who had hurt him before, he must be in a bad condition right now. Motoki was never really one for logic and reason, but he could deduce that.

 

He forcefully opened the door of Takaya's room and was greeted by the younger crouched on his bed, eyes wide, disbelieving that Motoki really left his shit for him, just because he had a breakdown. He stomped his feet as he walked to the boy, letting the other know he was upset, before sitting beside him and circled his arm around the smaller boy.

 

“Shh… it's fine. I'm here, let it out,” be whispered gently, knowing the other was an emotionally incapacitated bastard.

 

Takaya's smaller frame shuddered, a quiet sob soon escaped his lips and before long, he let out the feeling he had locked up for too long. They stayed for hours until the sun set, yet Motoki did not complain about anything. He wondered not for the first time, knowing how _protective_ his old catcher could be, who would be the one protected him.

 

_Motoki once hoped to be the one. Yet he could not say anything because his own behavior sucks_.

 

Takaya nagged worse than his mom  (and that _was_ something, ‘cause his mom had been a worrywart since that incident in the junior), worrying about him when they were still a battery, asked about his condition, making sure that Motoki was healthy. It was the one that brought him from his darkness, because there was an outsider that cared about his well-being more than his family. Even though the boy did not know his past pain.

 

_Not that his family did not care about him, they did, a lot. It just Takaya was on another level altogether. Furthermore, Takaya was a_ ** _stranger_** _compared to his friends and family, who were avoiding him during those time._

 

He assumed this was about his pitcher then, did they broke up their battery or something? Takaya always cared more about the battery more than he should have.

 

“Ren… I broke up with him,” Takaya said, as though he could read his mind. His greenish grey eyes tore through him, still red from crying.

 

Motoki wanted to blurt through so many questions, like ‘ _why are you crying when you are the one who cut it off?’_ or ‘ _does you guys also stopped as a battery?_ ’ or- the point was, he stayed silent.

 

“I think he went out with me because he does not want to lose me as his catcher,” he said next. Motoki went through several minutes to process that sentence. “ _What?!_ ”

 

The story flowed from there, Takaya was telling him the short version of his high school life. At the end of it, Motoki really wanted to tear him a new one.

 

“Seriously, you guys are _fucked_ up,” was the only response he could gave. He wondered why the coach let the situation be, Takaya could never be said as a most stable individual, he had his quirk and his mind was sharper than his peers, yet because of that, his social life suffered. To pair him up with another emotionally challenged person might not be the smartest decision the adults made.

 

Takaya did not dare to raise his head and guilt doused him again. “But it has passed, so let’s focus on the future,” he continued with a smile gracing his handsome face, “you once said that to me during practice, remember?”

 

There was a time when Motoki hit him with a full strength fastball without any remorse and Takaya could not even stand after. His catcher had asked for a slider, but of course, being a dick as he was in middle school, he just did not care what he threw. He apologized when the younger gained his consciousness back, a bit half-heartedly, as he thought Takaya were the one in the wrong, could not catch his pitches. Then, as the clinic doctor said he almost destroyed the other’s spleen, which could end in _death_ , he tried to pitch the ball asked the best he could.

 

Takaya said those words to comfort him, and now he fed them back to his friend.

 

“Yeah,” he let out a small giggle, “thanks, ‘toki.”

 

The last part was mumbled that he almost missed them, but his stomach was doing some back-flip as he watched the other smiled genuinely. Takaya smirked a lot, but he rarely smiled. Blood rushed to his face when he realized it, and he whispered back, “no problem, idiot.”


End file.
